In 1982 social scientists James Wilson and George Kelling introduced the ‘Broken Window Theory’. The theory states that maintaining cities to prevent small crimes such as broken windows helps to prevent more serious crimes such as rioting, robbery and looting from happening. It worked for New York. What’s this got to do Steve’s shoelaces you may wonder? Well, it’s not the shoelaces, it’s what happens next. Yes it’s hard to do your shoelaces up when you can’t even see your feet, I get it. Being pregnant is bloody hard work. But there’s an apathy creeping in here and as we all know idle hands are the devil’s workshop. Tomorrow, it’ll be not putting the shoes on at all. Then not washing. Not wiping. Not dressing. Not caring. Hitting the juice. Before we know it they’ll be a naked pregnant dad waving a bottle of gin around and directing traffic. No one wants that. Steve, please do the laces up.