Woke up at 4am and couldn’t get back to sleep. I’m a light sleeper at the best of times and wearing this suit is like going to bed in a straightjacket packed with a boulder and two stones. Mafer was out the house at 6am to work which meant I had to get both Leo and Enzo up, clothed, fed, out the house and to the playgroup and school on time. I had a few obstacles thrown at me this morning just for good measure. Enzo wet the bed, Leo was sick down my back and my haemorrhoids were in a furious mood. I also had to take Mafer’s bike complete with wicker basket. Humiliating, I know. As I cycle shifting uncomfortably on the seat through town, my verve waivers for the first time, I’m not cut out for this pregnancy business – I’ll take the rubbish out without being asked, I’ll put up the shelves and bleed the radiators, but not this. I arrive sweating at the playgroup. ‘Oh, look’ commented one of the mothers ‘you’ve got breasts and everything. Did you have them last week?”. ‘No’ I replied as straight as possible ‘they grew in week two’.