It is my sons 1st birthday on Monday, I think I am more excited than anyone. I haven’t seen him for a whole month and I miss him terribly.

He and my wife have missed out on this whole fiasco much to their relief. Thinking about it, I am not sure I want my son to remember me as a gender bender anyway.

My great friend Bruce told me that he had left a birthday present for him in the London office and that I should take it back to Barcelona.

I have just picked it up and it is a giant teddy bear, the size of a small truck.

I have difficulty lugging myself across London, now I have two of us to transport.

I am convinced Bruce had pre planned this, knowing fine well that it was going to be a nightmare. Whilst Bruce is one of the kindest men in the world and a fine friend, he is one of the most annoying. I will get my revenge Bruce.