So we’ve put through our electrically induced birth simulation. This involves dousing the body in water (to ensure the current penetrates to the muscular tissue) and donning a special jacket as well as  arm, leg and buttock bands and then being plugged into the mains. After the initial minor contractions which are quite pleasant, the current is increased until you are no longer in control of your body. You can fight it or surrender yourself to the voltage demons. Imagine the girl in the exorcist film but with less projectile vomiting. It’s violent and involuntary and treads on that fine line between pain and pleasure and that’s probably where any similarities with a real birth end. There’s no ripping of flesh, expulsion of body fluids (although Jason did wee himself) and no beautiful bundle of screaming joy at the end. You do however feel strangely elated and happy to be alive – like you would if you were struck by a bolt of lightning and lived to tell the tale.

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